Star Wars Special

Technically, a bat is a fruit!

This content falls outside Dragon Friends canon.

“	I'm sorry, but I just don't think there's any space in Star Wars for an angsty teenage wizard.	”
	— God/Dave

“	I just feel like there is, and there were three movies about him.	”
	— Michael Hing

The Star Wars Special was a unique episode recorded on the 4th May 2016 (Star Wars day - "May the fourth") in which the Dragon Friends played Edge Of The Empire rather than Dungeons And Dragons.

Introduction[]

For May the Fourth Be With You this year we took a break from our regular adventures for a special hour-long Star Wars adventure using the Edge of the Empire roleplaying game. A lot of people died. You can listen to it here!

Recorded live at Giant Dwarf and featuring the usual suspects plus David Cunningham as NPCs and special guest Steven 'Bajo' O'Donnell from Good Game TV!

Synopsis[]

The three Dragon Friends (now technically the Rancor Friends), now playing Mummy, Nookie and 42-Vex, are trapped in the town of Mos Shuuta searching for a critical spaceship part, a Hypermatter Igniter, with which to flee the planet and make their escape from Jabba the Hutt. They visit Teemo's cantina to meet a contact who claims to have an Igniter available - which turns out to be Jar Jar Binks. 42-Vex successfully charms Jar Jar into cooperating with them, but frustrated by him being a Gungan, considers throwing a stun grenade at him anyway until he is prevented by activation of his restraining bolt. Jar Jar gives them the igniter in exchange for them helping him escape from the planet too.

Having obtained the part, they now need to steal a ship with which to escape. They find that the ship Krayt Fang has been docked for months and is owned by a slaver, and they could escape using it. In order to release the docking clamps they must negotiate its release with Imperial bureaucracy. 42-Vex decides that the "classic Star Wars thing" would be to beat up some Stormtroopers and put on their armor, so they head to Imperial Flight Command. Finding two Stormtroopers on guard, Nookie attempts to seduce them into handing over their guns, which fails; they threaten to shoot Nookie and 42-Vex throws his stun grenade, dazing them both. Mummy shoots and kills one of the troopers with her blaster carbine; Jar Jar kicks the other trooper in the face and knocks him out. The others then attempt to hide behind Nookie while removing the armor from the stormtroopers, but they are immediately noticed by three Gammorean guards.

42-Vex tries to persuade the guards that this was part of a hidden camera show, as they drag the dead Stormtroopers into the Flight Command building; as they do, Jar Jar asks "Are we still stealing the spaceship?" Lurik hurriedly manages to persuade the guards that this is a theatrical catchphrase, but when the enter the Command building to meet the Sub-Moff Gegegerard the Friends are immediately noticed dragging two dead stormtroopers. Lurik and Freezo bluff that they are "Nookie, Mummy, Droid and Gungan Funeral Services" wishing to return the dead bodies to their home planet. After this and multiple attempts to flatter Gegegerard fail, Lurik tries to Brer Rabbit the situation by saying how much they hate the idea of being locked up on a spaceship, but this fails to convince Gegegerard and a brawl erupts in the Command building - during which both Jar Jar and 42-Vex collapse on top of one of Vex's own stun grenades. When 42-Vex attempts to stuff his one remaining stun grenade into Gegegerard's mouth, the cowardly Sub-Moff orders the Stormtroopers to stand down and has their ship's docking clamps released. The Friends attempt to take the Sub-moff hostage, dragging him out of the room, and very quickly shooting a Stormtrooper who was about to point out that the grenade was not lethal. Having escaped, they ditch Gegegerard outside the building, with 42-Vex removing the stun grenade pin as he do so and ending the Sub-Moff's singing career.

With klaxons and alarms blaring, the Friends race across the city to Hangar Bay 12 where the Crate Fang is docked. 42-Vex and Nookie rush into the building, but Mummy and Jar Jar are caught in the crowds. Mummy sprays the crowd with blaster fire, forcing the civilians into cover, and using Jar Jar as a Gungan shield as she walks into the building. One of the Stormtroopers shoots at the blast door controls and they begin to close; 42-Vex uses his connection to the mainframe to stop them just above the floor. Nookie races up to the ship and rams in the Hypermatter Igniter and Mummy and Jar Jar slide under the door and rush onto the ship. 42-Vex heads for the turret while Jar Jar heads to the pilot's chair; Mummy runs in behind him and punches Jar Jar in the face. Meanwhile, Stormtroopers have lifted the door with a jack and start to assemble a heavy gun; 42-Vex blasts them with the turret gun, destroying it.

Jar Jar rushes into the Captain's Quarters in search of a suit of armor to wear to fight the Stormtroopers in person, and accidentally instead finds the Captain - Trex, the Trandoshan Slaver, being awakened by the commotion. Jar Jar pounces on him and rolls 6 successes, apparently destroying him instantly, and causing hilarity as the group realizes that what could be Jar Jar's greatest heroic moment has taken place with no witnesses and nobody else knowing Trex existed on the ship at all. Frustrated, Jar Jar grabs a suit of armor and an Electropike anyway and races down to the boarding ramp to attack the six Stormtroopers and Gegegerard, but at that moment Nookie decides to close the boarding ramp for lift-off, trapping Jar Jar in the ramp as it closes. The remaining Friends start the ship and blast off through the hangar doors; Jar Jar manages to free himself from the ramp during lift-off, resulting in him falling to his death on top of the Stormtroopers and Gegegerard. In low orbit, guardian TIE fighters approach to fire at the ship; Nookie tries to activate the Hyperspace Igniter but it peters out, leaving the Crate Fang in orbit. Dave ends the Special with the traditional cliff-hanger summary leading into a following episode, but announces "Tune in, maybe one day, who knows if we'll do it again.."

People[]

Dragon Friends[]

Oskara / Mummy, Twi'Lek Bounty Hunter (Simon Greiner)
Lowhhrick / Nookie the Wookie, Wookie Hired Gun (Alex Lee)
41-Vex / 42-Vex, Protocol Droid (Michael Hing)

NPCs[]

Teemo the Hutt
Sub-Moff Gegegerard
Trex, Trandoshan Slaver

Guest PCs[]

Jar Jar Binks, Gungan Scoundrel who will not shut up (Steven O'Donnell wearing a giraffe mask)

Places[]

Mos Shuuta, Tatooine

Themes, tropes and running jokes[]

The Edge of the Empire System (also known as FFG Star Wars - where FFG stands for Fantasy Flight Games, the publisher, as many publishers have produced Star Wars RPGs), rather than using 20-sided regular dice as in Dungeons and Dragons, uses custom dice of different colours that are labelled with symbols. The symbols are constantly confused by the players during the game, but they are:
- Success: a blaster explosion. Means that the task has been successful. Called "stars".
- Advantage: a symbol of the Rebellion. Means that an additional benefit accrues from the task. Called "some sort of laurel", "crabs".
- Failure: a triangle. Subtracts Successes and, if they outnumber them, means the task has failed. Called "G-strings".
- Threat: a symbol of the Empire. Subtracts Advantages and, if they outnumber them, means that an additional problem accures from the task. Called "a soccer ball", "typewriter windows".
- Triumph: a lightsaber symbol of the Jedi. Acts as both a success and a super Advantage, making special effects available. Called "a little Star Wars-y symbol".
- Despair: a triangular symbol of the Sith. Subtracts Triumphs and, if they outnumber them, acts as a failure and a super Threat.
The Dragon Friends are playing the adventure Escape from Mos Shuuta, the starting adventure that comes with the beginner's set of FFG Star Wars. Jar Jar is likely standing in for Pash, the human smuggler who is the 4th standard player character in that set, at the request of Steven O'Donnell.
When the Sub-Moff is forced to order the docking clamps disengaged, God/Dave refers to Captain Phasma, a character from The Force Awakens who is forced to deactivate the shields on Starkiller Base.

Quotes[]

"Vex, Vex, what did Mummy say? Are you going to be a good boy for Mummy and Nookie?"
"Are Stormtroopers at all computers?"
"The desk is empty, apart for an intercom and a set of Repulsor Newton's Balls.."
"Dave, it's nothing but G-strings."
"Guards, continue to advance on these men."
"We'll lock you in the maximum detention stormtrooper ship that isn't where you want to go and you'll be locked up and tortured by the weird black droid ship." "That is a very long name for a ship."
"i've got something called a 'vibro-axe'." "It's not as rude as it sounds." "Well, I've been using it completely wrong."
"As I sprint, I get my long green bifurcated head bits.. my brain tails.. and I tie them under my chin so they're not dragging behind me." "Mummy's wearing a bonnet."
"Jar Jar's had a long and complicated life and I he feels like [sacrificing himself] will win the friendship of someone in the universe."

Table Talk[]

"Hing.. sent me a page and a half about how you wanted to play, like, Anakin. And you had lots of reasons about why there might be a powerful Jedi travelling with them and stuff and so you will be playing.. 41-Vex the protocol droid who we have taken the liberty of installing a restraining bolt on."
"Three G-strings, two stars and a crab." "I love this game." "I never thought I'd say this, but I miss numbers."
"I got four stars and two G-strings." "Stupid system."