I'm Just Gonna Punch Someone

Description[]

The Dragon Friends have been freed from the spooky crypts of Castle Ravenloft and are back on the prowl in the Western wing. This feels like showdown time. Boss fight time. This feels right. Bobby and Freezo have a fight over a shiny ball.

Synopsis[]

The Dragon Friends rest, regaining their hit points and spell slots. Bobby uses the newly found key to get them out of the crypt and back into the library. Baston uses the Lantern of Revealing to examine the hilt of the Name Sword of Sergei von Zarovich, which reveals an inscription saying that it was a gift from Sergei's brother.

They make their way to the third floor of the castle. The door is left ajar, implying that Strahd von Zarovich did not expect them to get free so quickly. In the room, they see a black ceremonial, ornamental bed with curtains around it, in a color scheme of red and black. Baston decides to fly kick into the closed curtains of the bed. He fails and hurts himself, but reveals the sleeping figure of Ireena Kolyana on the bed. Freezo tries to attack Ireena, but Philge pulls out Dilge's Magic Wand and hits the magic longsword out of his hand.

Philge slaps Ireena to wake her, which doesn't work. Baston tries to kiss her, but that doesn't work either. Bobby finds a crystal globe in a wicked iron claw on a pedestal. Bobby touches it and is able to see the cellars of the castle, surrounded by Deep Gnomes. They cannot see or hear Bobby. He then sees the banquet tables they saw before. Next he sees from above the castle Barovians with torches approaching the castle. Finally he sees a room he has not been in before. He sees Strahd working on a spell in a room full of eldritch equipment.

Meanwhile, Freezo gets jealous of Bobby touching a magical item, and tries to take it from him. Philge tries to stop him, but fails. Freezo appears next to Bobby in the room, and looks directly at Bobby, telling him to let go, refusing to look around him. Freezo lets go, is mean to Philge, and touches the orb again. Freezo looks around and realizes that Strahd is casting the ritual that they read about in the tomb, in the previous episode. Because of the spell, Freezo realizes that Strahd will have to kill Ireena by midnight. Bobby is not sure if the spell will work, because Strahd's true love is Patrina, not Ireena Kolyana.

Bobby and Philge attempt to open a locked chest, which Philge eventually gets open with Dilge's Magic Wand. She finds a small vial and a bag with a stone in it. They hear a device revealing that it is 11 o'clock, meaning they only have one hour to stop Strahd.

The Dragon Friends disguise Bobby as Ireena and stash Ireena in the crypt. They hear someone coming at the door above them, and Philge and Baston try to block it. Freezo wants to open the door instead, which he does. There they see the wet and angry figure of Edvard Oswick. Freezo tries to fight Edvard, but is wearing armor and cannot cast spells. Philge pins Edvard to the ground, and Baston does the same to Freezo.

Strahd arrives and disintegrates Edvard.

People[]

Dragon Friends[]

Non-Player Characters (NPCs)[]

Bestiary[]

Deep Gnomes
Vampire
Bats

Places[]

Zarovich Family Crypt
Castle Ravenloft Library

Themes, tropes and running jokes[]

Quotes[]

"Meanwhile, he doesn't know that his crypt's filling with hot dogs! 'Ah, me crypt!'" - Ben Jenkins
"Philge's spellbook is written in her heart." - Dave Harmon
"OPEN LOCKAME" - Philge, "magically" opening the chest

Table Talk[]

The party levels up in this episode. Philge takes a level of Wizard, becoming a Barbarian/Wizard.
Dave Harmon wants to say "voluminous" but he isn't sure how to pronounce it. His friends support him for trying a new word.
To demonstrate how hard Philge slaps Ireena, Alex Lee slaps Michael Hing
To celebrate the finale performance of this campaign, Ben Jenkins came on stage in a vampire cape, yelled "G'Day c*nts!," slammed a can of Victoria Bitter, and threw it into the audience, when it hit a paying audience member in the head.