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Description

Bethanee and the gang make it to dry land and get a new name and a new quest in the bargain.

Synopsis

They leave the underwater cave declining to discuss what happened underwater with Helios. They walk back to Hestovar as Bethanee cannot remember her summon spell for Steve the Goat.

Upon arriving the Dragon Friends inform Mother Bullmoose about the crack in hell. She informs them that they are invited to visit the King’s Priest Minus as a reward for completing the quest so quickly. The invitation is for 6pm and does not include food so Bethanee Smiles makes food for her friends. 

The theme of Bethanee’s Masterchef meal is Beef. She uses the butt of the beef to create her dishes. Bethanee comes in with plates and plates of charcuterie. Freezo, Bushu and Kit are suddenly not hungry. It’s 6:45 and they arrive late Freezo is unsure how many piece of underwear to put on. 

The guard presses them for a group name. After a small panic Bethanee christens the group “The Beef Babes” 

The group enters to meet King Priest Minus. They all have tea together. Freezo asks to debate Minus on the existence of Pelor. Bethanee uses the friendship necklace to de-platform him (silence). Bethanee recounts how she came into service of Pelor while on prime. The king priest informs them that the Beef Babes are to represent Pelor in the trials of Moradin. 

Mother Bullmoose explains that the trials of Moradin are through Moradin’s Maze against other paladins of different faiths. With the winner getting a holy relic. Bethanee and the Beef Babes accept the challenge. They go horse shopping. 

Bushu gets a plain white Palomino horse (Pepper), Kit Gingerson gets a Clydesdale (Clyde) (Freezo already has a horse with a human nose called White Diamond) Bethanee gets a prancing horse. (Clancy the Prancy Pony). Kit Gingerson uses beast speech to talk to them all but stops after the horrific noises coming from Freezo's misshapen monstrosity. 


Arriving and Torm’s gate they run into Trondor in the crowd of onlookers. Freezo swaps Trondor a potion a potion of heroism for his cymbals that Freezo stole in episode 1. 

The loudspeaker announces Torm’s Champion Merrick the righteous, Selune’s Champion Lalandre and Pelor’s Champion Bethanee Smiles.


They head through the gates meeting Merrick the righteous (everybody calls him Jack) and his squires Teddy, Bobby and Joe l, he confidently states that he’s going to win this trial. Freezo tries to blackmail bobby with photos of his affairs.

The champions use their holy symbols on the way-stone to teleport into Moradin’s Maze. They arrive in a small room and Freezo instructs then to sit on a nearby bench. In the middle of the room they see a column with an hour glass. They play musical chairs for a while before the room begins to sink into itself. They figure out that they all need to sit down on the benches to access the key. They unlock the door and exit quickly escaping unharmed (although Bushu tears his cloak)

They climb up a ladder to find a narrow walkway over part of the dungeon. There is no handrail or supports and it goes over other rooms and Lava. They can hear battles happening in the distance. The walkway narrows again over the Lava. The entire party fails a dexterity test. The party splits with Bushu and Kit falling two the left and  Bethanee and Freezo fall to the right. Bushu casts feather fall  so they can dodge the lava and fall into separate rooms.

Bethanee falls onto a room with a Minotaur with two bottles containing either sovereign glue or universal solvent. Bushu and Bethanee talk over the sending stone. Bushu is in a rectangular room with sconces in the room with dwarves with mauls. Bethanee picks up the sovereign glue and as soon as she does the Minotaur comes back to life and destroys the universal solvent.

The Minotaur attacks Bethanee Freezo sends out a Eldritch blast as he beckons Bethanee to a rope to climb out of the room. The Minotaur attacks Bethanee as she climbs up the rope. The Minotaur rams the wall knocking Freezo over the lava with them counterbalanced against each other. Freezo climbs up and anchors Bethanee in place before she drops down and  use the command “sleep” on the Minotaur. The Minotaur attempts to sleep. 

Bushu and Kit regroup on a bridge. They rush towards where they believe Freezo and Bethanee are. Bushu talks to Bethanee on the sending stone. The door is locked.

Bethanee glues the Minotaur's face to the ground. The Minotaur wakes from its sleep to find its head is glued stuck. Freezo convinces the party to put the Minotaur out of its misery.

Characters

Beef Babes

NPCs

  • Helian Helios
  • Mother Bullmoose
  • King Priest Midus
  • Horse Shop Owner
  • Trondor
  • Merrick The Righteous (Jack)
  • Bobby, Joe and Teddy (Merrick's Squires)
  • Lalandre

Places

  • Elvandor
  • Hestovar
  • Torm's Gate
  • Moradin's Maze

Themes, Tropes and Running Gags

  • Very Normal Chongus - The King Priest can tell Freezo has a misshapen chongus despite multiple layers of underwear
  • Kit states that time wouldn’t have changed if the world was flat continuing his Round Earth Theory. Bushu points out they’re at the actual rim of the very flat world.
  • Alex regrets not commanding the Minotaur to “Self-Suck"

Quotes

“I have a nickname too"

- Oh what is it?

"Beth”

Trivia

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