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 Description

Life moves pretty fast as the Dragon Friends find themselves departing the glittering forests of the Feywild for altogether warmer, if not sunnier, climes.

This episode features NPCs by Carlo Ritchie and special guest Montaigne, who wrote a song! She’s backed by Rob Boddington and Dan & Pete who insisted they be credited as the Sonic Boom Lords.

Synopsis

Since the last episodes, the Dragon Friends and Bassbass Wihouveberry have been caught in the Feywild and imprisoned by Jayne Steyer. Bassbass and the friends introduce themselves to each other, and Freezo uses his bracer to contact LOGAN who informs them that the ship is impounded and being searched by an auspicer team.

A hologram of Steyr appears to speak to them and informs them that they are interfering with powerful magic, and that their ship is tearing holes in the fabric of the Cradle whenever it jumps. Bassbass reveals that she has a magic necklace which might be able to help them escape, and Bobby takes hold of the necklace and touches the magical light bars of their cell, which causes them to disappear and the necklace to heat up with the absorbed energy and focus it into a new portal, which they pass through, arriving outside a building in a dark, smoky city.

Freezo realizes that this is the site in the Abyss where his abyssal Patron lives. Bushu adds that it also appears to be where Oberon was transported, and that Freezo's patron may be able to help find him. Freezo is ushered through the building where his patron turns out to be Robbie Silver, a leathery-winged, thousand-eyed demon working behind an office desk. Robbie reveals that he is upset that Freezo hasn't been meeting him and has been ignoring his attempts to contact Freezo through his dreams; Freezo points out that as an Elf he trances rather than sleeping. Bassbass walks into the interview and casts Charm Person on Robbie, asking him where Oberon is. Robbie confirms that Oberon would likely be at the Winter Palace on the seventh circle of the Abyss, and opens a portal there inside a filing cabinet. He also gives Freezo a sword with a purple crystal on it and declares Freezo to be a "Hexblade".

The seventh circle of the Abyss, the Shadowfell, is the dark mirror of the Feywild; and the King and Queen, Barbarus and Morgana are engaged in a similar ritual to the one previously witnessed in the Feywild, only bizarre and overly sexualized. Barbarus offers a gift to Morgana which turns out to be the dark crystal imprisoning Oberon. Bobby disguises himself as Tommy Wiseau (who apparently looks sufficiently like a dark fey) and offers Barbarus a gift of a screenplay, while attempting to move close to the crystal holding Oberon with Bassbass' necklace. Its energy absorption properties free Oberon but also cause the necklace to heat up much more powerfully, becoming painful to hold. Bobby throws the necklace at the King and Queen, which creates a powerful sonic explosion, but no portal.

LOGAN informs the Friends that the ship is charged again, but the freed Oberon also manages to create a portal (via an implied ejaculation). Baston, Bassbass and Bushu make it through the portal, but the others fail to do so.

People

Dragon Friends

Guest PCs

Non-Player Characters (NPCs) 

Bestiary

Places

Themes, tropes and running jokes

  • After Bobby suggests that a "dark fey dude" would look like Tommy Wiseau, there are multiple references to Wiseau's famously bad film The Room, including a mention that he is "carrying a football" (referring to a bizarrely out-of-context scene in The Room in which several characters play catch with a football inside an apartment while doing nothing that is anything to do with any other part of the film).
  • The episode title, "Speaking Ten to Ten", is said by Baston when he is speaking to Bassbass on learning that both of them consider themselves incredibly good looking.

Quotes

  • "I don't like that this guest's backstory is more rich than ours and we've been doing this show for four years." — Hing
  • "Wihouveberry wants to make a check...as to whether she needs to be in this room right now or not." — Montaigne
  • "Carlo and Dave.. have you decided that my patron is like my agent or something!?" -- Michael
  • "This is fucked! You have absolutely fucked me on this, Dave!" — Hing, on learning that Freezo's patron/agent has been trying to communicate with Freezo via dreams, when Freezo does not sleep
  • "I am going to disguise myself as a dark fey dude.. basically I look like Tommy Wiseau." -- Bobby

Table Talk

  • The closing credits are read by Carlo Ritchie in character as Robbie Silver. He has as much trouble getting Hing's name right as he did Freezo's during the episode.
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