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Now, me no big city doctor...

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Description

“I just…I just feel like there’s more singing in our Dungeons and Dragons podcast than in others” – Dave.

Synopsis

Having recruited the Zhivago Twelve, Mr. Sour contacts Bobby to warn them that the explosive sacs in their brains are going to detonate soon, but he is happy they have obtained Johnny Playstation. Unfortunately because he is in a Voss-Saito brand cryocell, he can only be released in a Voss-Saito airlock. Mr. Sour gives him the coordinates of a Voss-Saito airlock. Meanwhile, Bobson Dugnutt appears on the news leading a resistance movement in the outskirts of Brisvegas.

Sirius-8 Dumbleboy pulls up a map showing the location of the Voss-Saito airlock. He states that entering the airlock would require Voss-Saito citizen ID, which would be hard for even the Twelve to provide, but that if the Freeside computer systems could be crashed there would be a brief period in which they were restarting in which IDs could not be checked. Haggis recognizes the device Philge was carrying as a Haywire Cube which will destroy circuitry in a 10 foot radius when activated. They decide that Bobby Pancakes and Baston will take Johnny to the Voss-Saito airlock to be ready when it opens, and Philge and Freezo will go to the control room to activate the Haywire Cube. Sirius-8 uses a projection chip to disguise the cryocell as a trolley of water canisters, and also agrees that members of the Twelve will meet them at the target locations to escort them.

Philge and Freezo head to the control room (which is inside the main public internet hub) and meet with Serial Nightvale and Mail Chimp from the Twelve, and Meegan, a random woman writing a novel on the computers. Freezo approaches the front desk attendant Margrave Rinselbottom and claims to be a boy looking to enrol on the work experience programme, and Mail to be his mum. This is completely unconvincing, but allows Philge and Serial to use the computers to hack into the public areas of the node - although Philge uses this initially to break into Meegan's computer and tell her to "give up", but then to open all the doors in the public area. After the receptionist goes into the employee lounge to investigate, Philge locks the employee lounge doors to trap him and then plays Adele over the speakers to drown out his complaints.

Meanwhile, Bobby and Baston enter the Voss-Saito base where they are met by Satoshi Nakamoto, Laura Norder and Lauren Order (and shortly Meegan who has purchased a laptop, then leaves after Laura Norder reads her screen and also suggests she give up). Bobby approaches the receptionist and introduces them as "The Singing Water Company"; the receptionist requests they sing the Water Song and they agree. Impressed, the receptionist lets them into the employee lounge.

People

Dragon Friends

Non-Player Characters (NPCs)

Bestiary

Places

Themes, tropes and running jokes

  • Dave originally calls the Voss-Saito Employee Lounge the "Green Room", after the traditional name for a performers' lounge in a theatre.
  • Baffling Reference for our International Listeners — As Meegan, Ben mentions opening a shop in Byron Bay, a hippie coastal tourist town in New South Wales, Australia

Quotes

  • "There's a pool table missing the balls, the cues, and most of the felt." "So, a table."
  • Bobson sings parts of Castle On A Cloud and Do You Hear The People Sing? from Les Miserables.
  • "This is not your concern. Just a bit of world-building." — Mr. Sour casually tears open the fourth wall

Table Talk

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