From the icy tundras of the Deadlands to the techno-marvellous corridors of the Heart of Glass and yet something feels, off. The Dragon Friends come face to face with a reckoning which is really probably their fault if we're honest.
This episode features guest DM Carlo Ritchie (Edvard Ostwick, MR T3RM1NAL) as Dave was vomiting so much he literally thought he was going to die.
Left in Freezo's lab, the Friends attempt to activate the portal by placing various objects (Philge's finger, Freezo's Hexblade, and very nearly Freezo's chongus) into the disk nearby, but cannot activate it. Freezo summons Chunkerson to ask what belongs on the disk, but he does not know. Jeremy Scaleson suggests that they return to the Heart of Glass to prevent Freezo from obtaining any more forbidden knowledge. Freezo attempts to cast Invisibility to remain behind while the others leave, but Jeremy grabs and pins him while they contact LOGAN to ask to be teleported back to the Heart of Glass. LOGAN teleports them back, but only after they have promised "not to be mad at him"; when they arrive, they discover the decor of the Heart of Glass has been changed completely with velveteen curtains, couches, and brocade. LOGAN explains that he believed them to be dead and there has "been a change of management". Leaving the Rec Room, the Friends see a member of the Favored in the corridor outside. He tells them that Lady Casilda is now the Captain of the ship, and that Bobson Dugnutt is now "His Most Exalted Dugnutt, Master of Beverages, Favored of our Mournful Mistress and Chief Sexual Consort of our Lady Casilda".
The Favored states that they are not allowed to see Lady Casilda but he will attempt to fetch Bobson Dugnutt for them, if they wait in the Rec Room and on the deck above. They visit the deck above and find that Casilda appears to be trying to have a Casino built on the ship, and the Tinker Gnomes they previously knew are walking around oblivious to the Friends. Freezo approaches Jacinta, one of the Tinker Gnomes, but she refuses to talk to him and calls for her supervisor. The supervisor tells him that guests are not supposed to talk to the employees, and mentions that several investors in the casino are also currently guests on the ship. He also warns them that one of the Tinker Gnomes, Carl, has brought a sword to work (just in case there's a swordfight). Philge announces that they are also investors, that they are there to gamble, and that they would be prepared to bet on a swordfight involving Carl. They also begin to glassily announce love for Lady Casilda and to encourage the "investors" to put in a good word with her. Jeremy recognizes that they have been magically charmed, and uses his Countercharm ability to reverse the Charm on the gnomes in the Casino; they then recognize the Friends as their former bosses. The Friends decide to head for the bridge to assault Casilda, and the gnomes inform them that the "wetways" - the humidity and ventilation shafts - could enable them to reach the bridge.
- Jacinta, Jeremy, and Carl
- The Favored
- The Deadlands
- The Heart of Glass
Themes, tropes and running jokes
- As with Inadvisable Space Combat, this episode was available on podcast aggregators for several weeks before it appeared on the main web site.
- The Rec Room of the Heart of Glass is described as holding a painting of A Dog With Human Eyes.
- "You know, we never thought when we were trying to jam things into the hole.. Should we?"
- "If I kill myself and I come back to life, do I get out of the sheet?"
- "Lojans, you son of a mum! What have you done?"
- "The air smells of cigar smoke, death, and lilac." "Oh yea, cloying!"
- "Somehow.... the carpet creaks."
- "What Have You Got There? Some paint?" "Is this Charm?" "No, this is just how people start conversations!" "It is absolutely not."
- "Maybe we can get some info out of them. I mean, either that or we're making them fight to the death because we're bored, so..."
- "There's the wetways. And they're not called wet 'cos they're dry, I'll tell you that."
- "We need you to promise that in your quest to be a god, you're not going to do anything naughty or mean." "We're not saying you can't be a god, you just have to be a benevolent god."
- "Grappling doesn't exist in Fifth edition, I know that." "What, everyone just forgot how to do it?"
- "Don't use passive voice to get out of this problem!" "So Philge is illiterate, but she understands grammar?" "Yea, I think she's got low Intelligence but quite high Wisdom." "Grammar's Wisdom and literacy's Intelligence..?" "Yes! Read a fuckin' book!" "I can't."